A Brief Summary of.... Well, Everything

Dwarven Mountains - near Athenasius's monastery
11:00 PM
A FEAST is occurring - the dwarves are curious about our exploits.

Aranel: You should try this wine, Lyaera. It's nom nom delicious.
Lyaera: Okay! glug glug glug. I..... like wine.
Aranel: Mmm... roast panther.
Lyaera: NOOOOOO!!!!! I killlll you!!!!!!!!
Aranel: Hahahahahahaha! Just kidding. I didn't slaughter your panther.
Lyaera: Gwen! Gwenny Gwen Gwen! Gwenny pooo! Where are you?
*purring*
Oh, good. I thought the nasty cleric ate you.
Dwarf yells from across the table
So, tell us: what happened? How did it all go down?
Well, first we went into the caves, deeper and deeper - did I tell you I like caves? Because I do. And there was this giant spiral staircase down into the depths... we kind of just charged down stupidly without spotting for anything, which is very out of character, and we ended up stepping onto a weak portion of the stairs.
Yeah... we kind of failed.
We fell pretty epically, and I used my ROPE OF CLIMBING to hook on to a rock jutting out of the wall, and we grabbed it and slammed into the wall. Ow, by the way.
And then there was this chain demon that kept trying to kill us. We traded blows, deanimated his chains, and Athenasius killed him by tackling him to the bottom of the staircase, breaking his own leg in the process. At which point he was largely useless and just chilled.
When all the animals wouldn't go down to the bottom, I knew there were not happy things down there. But we went anyways.
Yeah, and while we were going Ugaarth and the little people got attacked by a pair of animated bookshelves
Because the stupid Rogue tried to go steal the potions on the bookshelves
Hey! They were good potions. Totally worth stealing.
And Ugaarth actually got grappled by one of the bookshelves, which is pretty embarrassing, if you think about it.
Or hilarious. Ahahahahah.
Yes, yes... well, we all met at the bottom and went into a vast chamber where a Wraith was protecting an altar of EVILNESS!
Oh, and then that undead dwarf tried to bribe us into preserving the altar. We pwned that bitch in the face!
And Ugaarth smashed, and we all shot arrows, and the Wraith died, and then we scratched the inscriptions off the altar.
And the evil was gone! Yay!
The dwarves applaud.
So... any more interesting stories? How did you meet?
Well, we met in a tavern. We were brawling. Athenasius stopped us.
And then our first mission was pretty fun. We had to retrieve a wand that animated the dead.
That's when we met Sienna.
Oh, and on the way to retrieve the wand, we ran into some Kobalds and helped them fight off undead. They led us to where evil Drows had the wand. We killed them, took the wand, went back to party with the Kobalds, and got accepted as honorary members of the tribe.
Weird, they're usually pretty cranky.
Haha, and you got knocked out!
Shut up! Stupid Drow knockout poison.
Hmmm... anything else important we've done?
Oh, hey! Remember the time we were turned into vampires and slept with all those dudes and then killed them?
Oh yeah! That's was good times. And we fought that paladin, even though he was half-Celestial, and we fucking won!
But we did kind of get owned by his dragon. Gold dragon. Pretty. Hahahahaha...... rat armor.
Good thing the dragon turned us back into humans. That was nice of him.
Although blood is strangely delicious.
Yes....
*awkward pause*
Oh, and the Mechanist Plane!
Hell yes KNOWLEDGE OF THE PLANES!!! Bitches I pwn you all!!!
Yeah. Poor Athenasius was just too lawful for our badassery.
We sprung that chick from prison, stole a bunch of things, terrified that gnome guard... and then got the fuck out of there.
Not a fan of lawful planes.
No. Not at all. More wine?

And then the debauchery continued. Olidammara was pleased.